Day 1

Destruction has begun.

I had a dream the night before we started construction - I mean destruction. I traveled with a group up to a place like the grand canyon. A breathtaking vista spread out before us. The sky was filled with rich colors of a sunrise or sunset and the rocks were a vibrant red. I was there to take pictures and was excited by the beauty before me. We were going to traverse a narrow path down into the gorge that dropped off on both sides. As I neared the edge of the cliff, a realization of where I was overcame me. My fear of heights kicked in and I had a panic attack. My body froze and my breathing accelerated. I couldn't move at all, I needed to get out of there but didn't know where to go. I woke up shortly after that. I put the dream out of my mind until later in the morning when I was talking to a friend (who was dropping of children for Joy School, which I also happen to be teaching that day). I telling her that is was pretty overwhelming to start the remodel, it hadn't seemed real until that morning when the dump trucks and bobcat pulled up, and it was pretty stressful. I laughed to realize that my dream described my feelings exactly. I had been telling folks that we were about to start remodeling, my own words were something like: "We are at the edge of the cliff, about to jump in." And now, we have passed that point, the place of no-turning-back.

Things became a little more peaceful later in the day, after the Joy School kids went home and Andrew was napping. Sadie and I sat in the living room together watching things come down around us, occasionally feeling the house shake like there was an earthquake. The girls were awestruck when they got home from school at the mound of dirt and rubble in what used to be our yard. And now, Day 2.